(Source: thepajmahal)
mom, dad, these are my newborn twins. their names are mom and dad. i named them after you. what do you mean ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ aren’t your real names? what the hell? i already named these kids thanks for telling me now
*does the anime character with glasses thing*
people complain about auto correct but it’s helpful 99% of the titties
i feel bad for adults on disney channel like i feel like they wanted successful acting careers but they couldn’t get any gigs and had to settle for being the bald dad or the hot mom on a show for kids
f is for friends who do stuff without you
(Source: prettylittlekeegan)
how are all these 6yr olds at meet and greets and concerts and stuff my mom didn’t even take me to the park
My favorite thing to do is to text people that comment on Justin Bieber’s instagram pictures begging him to text them
(Source: ignitionremix)
i think there should be a biological setting for ‘i dont want kids why do i need to ovulate/menstruate’ and then your period just ollies out for a while
like ‘ok bro i accept your life choices call me if you want a baby’
she got a pussy like the grand canyon
dry and sandy
possibly filled with dead bodies
Includes approximately 70 species of mammals, 250 species of birds, 25 types of reptiles and five species of amphibians
a popular tourist site
Everyone goes there and comes away feeling vaguely unsatisfied with the entire experience
what if our toes and nipples traded places
